Confessions of a Travel Softball Coach
Sometimes perception isn't reality. First impressions aren't always right.
It was the very first tournament for AO1. More specifically, it was the end of the first tournament as we had just been beaten in single elimination and sent home after posting a 1-3 record. I can't say that I was shocked and neither were Alex or Alyse. We had very little time for this team to grow and the dynamics of the team just weren't there.
I pulled three players to the side after our team meeting. These three players were our three older girls, those that were not playing their first games in 14U. I had coached just one of these girls and that really wasn't anything more than a single tournament she picked up with a team that I coached months before.
I leveled with the three girls, all of whom were what I thought were our best hitters.
"This team will go only as far as you three take it. Your bats are the only thing that are going to produce wins for this group."
Thinking back on this conversation, it was probably really unfair to level those type of expectations on these three players. None of them had ever played together, far as I knew. At the time, I was talking to two of those three players, but I knew the third had potential, though I wasn't sure what to expect from her. I've never had a player hit a home run for me and I felt one of them would do it.
Key and Em were easy to level with because Key is a natural leader, a great player, and has a personality that was easy to deal with. Em is also a gifted player and I believed she was the best hitter that I had ever coached, despite knowing that she had some confidence issues that I would have to overcome, eventually.
Then there was Hailey, the player I knew the least about and really only included her because she was the second oldest player on the team.
I didn't partake in the recruitment of any players. I left that to Alex because I hadn't embraced doing anything other than coaching the players under my care. Hailey was at our open tryouts, coming to us as a potential pitcher. She threw hard, for sure. She also plunked about three straight hitters.....at a tryout. The only thing I can say about her was that it didn't bother her. In the field, there was obvious work to be done, but nothing I didn't think I couldn't overcome, because it was mostly the expectation of effort.
Her first time at the plate was not impressive. At the end of practice number one, I just didn't think she was a good fit, not just because of what she laid out on the field, but because she was so quiet. I was used to vocal players and I assumed silence was disrespectful, especially when I corrected or coached them up.
Second tryout was much the same for Hailey, except the bat came alive and in a big way. Liner, liner, liner, liner. The problem with this is that without a defense to play against, you can't really judge just how good those liners would be. One thing was absolutely certain, she got all of the ball.
We offered her a spot. In the limited practices before our first tournament, I didn't take stock in the fact that almost 100% of the team had played together or at least had a mutual friend on this team. Hailey did not. That left her as an outsider and her quiet demeanor almost came across as stand-offish or even stuck up. The lone conversation I had with her was about just how bad her old team was and sometimes that comes across wrong. In addition, her parents came to every practice, sat on the fence, and constantly talked to her, something that I was wary of from other parents that may have been a little more involved than they should.
Following that first tournament, I had considered that they may pull her from the team. What little I knew about her was that she is quietly extremely competitive.
Considering how she didn't really fit in the with the team and her quiet nature, I can't say that I was going to miss her. I asked Alex about it and he had a talk with her parents. The surprising news was that not only were they NOT leaving, they didn't attend a single tryout after practicing with us. They informed us that she didnt want to go anywhere, period. A shocker for me, as I had been on her hard, just to get emotions from her.
Over the fall season, Hailey and I spent a lot of time with each other. For the most part, she only hit in games. She pitched some and would occasionally play in the field, but it was obvious what she was made to do: hit. Yes, she was quiet. Yes, she has a very dry sense of humor, something that can come across wrong, especially coming from a young lady.
The conversation that forever changed my mind came during a mid-season game when she either struck out or hit out and she stopped at third base and told me, pitch by pitch, what went wrong and what she should have done.
Throughout the season, this happened time and time again. On occasion, she would ask me what I thought. These were high game IQ questions that, truly, no one else would ask. "I knew this pitch was coming because these two pitches proceeded it. I hit here because the defense shaded this way" and so on.
Her final stats: .333 batting average (2nd), .435 OBP(2nd), .538 slugging (2nd), led the team in total hits and RBI, tied for second with most walks, and had just four strikeouts in the entire season. In finality, she was the best hitter on the team, any way you sliced it. But, she kept finding defenders with her hits. I meant that quite literally. She was taking pitchers and shortstops out of the game because her hits never got off the ground. For a player with home run potential, this became very frustrating to hit almost every at bat but be stuck on first base after barreling a ball.
Despite having up to five players on this roster with homer potential, not one was hit for me and the drought at coaching a long-ball hitter continued.
In the off-season, I have worked very, very hard with our girls on hitting. Most all of them needed significant mechanics tweaks or at least to see hundreds of pitches to work on seeing the ball. I took a different approach to Hailey. Sure, I might work on front foot rotation or little things, but I stayed in her ear. I wanted her to be an extension of myself in the box.
"A walk is a win for them."
"You get one pitch an at-bat."
"You can't win a tournament with one swing."
"Be aggressive, first pitch is best pitch."
"Know who you are and be who you are."
None of this is 100% true, but I believe that building a power hitter is just as much a mental game as it is a physical one. Her issue was never seeing the ball or hitting it square. It was hitting the wrong pitch, being too passive, or taking too much pressure on herself in one at-bat.
Friday night before our first tournament, the team went to a local hitting facility, where we've been trying to hit off the simulator at least once a week. By Friday night, the girls were absolutely hitting the cover off of the ball. The bad news, we found out that due to school ball restrictions, Hailey wouldn't be able to play with us until after her high school season. Naturally, we were upset about that but nearly as upset as her parents. They were worried we would move on from Hailey, which prompted a huge laugh from Alex and I. We assured them that we would make do and her spot wasn't going anywhere.
Saturday morning at 8AM, we were in Calsonic Indoor Arena in Shelbyville Tennessee for our tournament. I knew that hitting the ball wasn't going to be an issue. What would be an issue was keeping the ball off the ceiling or off the nets. The only way to hit a dinger was to thread the narrow gap between the net and the ceiling.
First inning of first game, Hailey swings at the first pitch and it is smoked to the wall, but because of the walls inside the arena, it bounces right back to the outfielder and she's stuck on first
Second game, Hailey walks her only at-bat.
Third game, she doesn't like the first pitch. She smashes the second pitch for a double that scores two RBI. Next at-bat, she fouls the first pitch, she swings in desperation at the third pitch, watches the fourth pitch for a third strike to end the inning. We discuss it and she knows what went wrong. She fouled her pitch and then became passive.
Forth game is the semifinal game. We jump up to a 1-0 lead and Hailey is up to bat. I normally have some words of instruction or encouragement. But, I've noticed that this pitcher's windage is perfect, but she struggles with elevation. The ball is either in the dirt, down the middle of the plate, or over the batters head. So, I tell Hailey that if it comes out of her hand straight, she needs to jump on it. Typically, the first pitch has been money.
I'd always wondered what my reaction would be when that first homer was hit. Em smashed a no-doubter off the ceiling earlier that day and I felt robbed by that. I know she did. I celebrated when that one came off the bat, just to see it bounce harmlessly to the middle of the outfield for a single. The same thing happened at least two other times that day. By 8:30 that night, I was tired and had honestly given up on being able to yelp and scream and hug that player who would gift me something that I had worked very, very hard to see.
I had imagined running to the plate and getting in line with all of the other players, none of which have had homers hit for them nor have they hit any themselves, either. I imagined fist bumps and hugs and all types of exuberance. A watershed moment, just as we had the final game of the last season with
C's Story.
The reality was so much different as I watched the ball clear the net and hit the seats. I didn't find myself jumping and yelling like the idiot I imagined I would be. The truth is, I turned my back to the celebration and let the girls celebrate on their own. I watched it from a distance. I reveled in it because it is their team and her moment, not mine. Hailey rounded third and when she did, she saw AO1 screaming and yelling at her. With tears in her eyes, she did something I had never see her do: she showed emotion and emotional attachment to her team. It's been there all along, I know that. But, it HAS been hard for her. She isn't like the rest of the team. She's never had a team that was her family like every other player on that team. I think while she gets along just fine with all of those girls, she hasn't had that bond. Some of that is being from a different school and playing for different teams. Some of that is the gamer in her.
Some of that is breaking down her own barriers. She's had that homer in her all along and nothing has change in the six months I've known her but she had to uncork it that first time to know it could be done, and it would be done going forward. Just like that first dinger, she needed to uncork her emotional reservations and show herself to her team and it took Hailey's first homer to do it.
Post Script:
I never high-fived her as she ran the bases. Two plays later, the inning was over and we lost that game 6-2, never scoring another run. Even between innings, the two of us didn't speak. After the loss, after we shook hands and had a prayer, she eventually approached me. Did she want to brag about it? Did she want to complain about the loss? Nope.
She wanted to talk about how what I said before the at bat affected how she read the ball out of the pitchers hand. She knew it wasn't a good pitch to hit for her as it was a bit outside and low (as you can see in the picture) and how she caught just enough of it to get it out to right center. She wanted to talk about how the pitch sequence she'd seen in the hitter before her told her that was her one pitch.
