Make Sure to Read All of My Confessions of a Travel Softball Coach
When asked what he wanted on his tombstone, Bo Jackson famously said: "Here lies a ball player." Since I first heard that quote, I have identified with it more than any other piece of sentiment. Of course, there isn't much that I can identify with perhaps the greatest pure athlete to walk the planet aside from the sentiment of that quote. I can't claim to have been a pro athlete, or Heisman Trophy winner, or even a college player, so I think that I would change that quote slightly to say "Here lies a competitor."
The greatest compliment I was ever given, in terms of sports, was when one of the high school boosters found me after a rivalry game and with tears in his eyes said "I wish every player would play with half of your heart."
This series of posts isn't about me, but I think putting you the reader in my mind for at least some background information is important.
I played ball my entire life. I play to this day. I can honestly say that I put everything ounce of effort and energy I had into my craft growing up. I played baseball, soccer, basketball, and football. I even wrestled in high-school because a football coach told me it would do wonders for my aggressiveness and tackling technique on the football field.
My dad and mom were extremely supportive of my athletics. As far as I know, my dad coached in some fashion, every single team I ever played on. He never missed a high school game, that I can recall, to the extent of flying home on business on a Friday afternoon, which I remember clearly from my freshman year in football....despite the fact that there was ZERO chance I was playing a snap, since I was the only freshman on the varsity team. If he couldn't coach, he would fund raise. I owe my parents a great debt that I could never repay, and I have in many ways shortchanged my own kids in ways my parents would never have done.
Every time I hear Bob Dylan sing "Old Man," I think of my dad and it brings tears to my eyes.
There weren't travel teams then, nor position coaches or camps....at least that my parents knew about (my mom has reminded me that I did attend Lipscomb's basketball camp two years and also a UAH one day baseball camp. I also did a one week indoor soccer camp). So, I played and practiced how I could. Wall-ball at church. Baseball in PE. Shooting hoops for 30 minutes a day, dribbling a soccer ball around my dog. It didn't matter if it was church camp or an All-Star tournament, I was going 100%.
The only thing I ever won, that ever amounted to anything, was a county championship in baseball when I was in the 3rd grade. As a kid, I was never on a winning team. I've had more winless seasons than winning ones. To this day, I consider myself a perennial loser and I play with a chip on my shoulder that will never come off. I coach with that chip. Being a loser made who I am and I accept that and I accept that if I keep working, I'll eventually win. It's kept a fire burning in my heart and soul that will never burn out.
I graduated high school at 5-4 and 135 pounds. I dream about playing sports to this day, at least once a week. I did last night. Following high school, there were no legitimate chances for me to continue to play sports, at least at the level I wanted to play. Not having accomplished something in athletics left a void in me that, to this day, I still have not filled.
I think that's why when I discovered tournament bass fishing, I latched on to the sport with both hands and squeezed as hard as I could. If you read this blog, you know how hard I grind. It is a sport where there are largely no physical limitations and a sharp mind and hard work will take you as far as you let it.
But there has been something else that has crept into my life and has begun to take away from fishing, and it's what I am trying to catalog with these new posts. It's a living document. It has no real purpose, although I have several purposes that I hope it fulfills. First, I write these stories and their lessons down so that I can remember them one day when my mind isn't so sharp. Secondly, I write it so that my daughter, now 13, will see what her mom and dad did for her and why. Last, I write it so that others can see what we did right, but more importantly, what we did wrong.
That last reason really implanted itself in my mind and began to grow because I was being asked for my opinion by friends who were just starting to experience athletics with their child. This would spawn hours of conversation and that the end of the day, my story is at best half over and at worst, I am on the precipice of closing the book on my daughter's career as a ball player and I am armed with the knowledge of what went right and what went wrong.
As I mentioned, I played ball starting when I was five and I still play soccer and softball today and only recently gave up flag football. My wife played softball and volleyball, she too plays softball to this day and is really the only reason I still play. Both of us believe in the power of athletics. I think I can speak for her when I say that team athletics is the cornerstone to building a well-rounded child.
There was no question that Aubree was going to play softball. But, it has been a winding path for her and we still don't know where it leads. What I do know is that the void in me created by my failures as an athlete, which I have despised for so long, weren't really about me at all. I believe it was God's way for preparing me to be the coach my child desperately would need, and not just her, but maybe other players as well. The jury is still out, and likely will be for some time. As you will read over the course of days, weeks, months, and maybe years, my head may not be in the right place, but my heart always was. I've made a ton of mistakes, more than I can count. Sometimes I wonder if Aubree would be better or worse off, but that's why life is so special. All you can do is your best and if your heart is in the right place, then you win regardless. And that, friends, is sports in a nutshell.
By now, many of you are reading this and are thinking that I have put too much emphasis on sports. You may be right, but as I said, my wife and I believe that playing athletics, the right way, is the cornerstone of a well-rounded kid and while you may roll your eyes and say "yeah, for athletes," I believe that if read this, you will see that giving your child everything you can, and doing it the right way in sports has a dramatic and positive effect on every other part of their lives, from dealing with social issue, to working with others, to dealing with adversity and beyond. As parents, it will show you how to deal with a lot more.
Let's talk about our families journey (still incomplete) with travel softball. I am going to break this into several parts because it is a long journey, even with my limited memory. Who knows, maybe one day it will turn into a book.
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